Listening to a madly beautiful piece of music last night I had an epiphanous ahaha moment when I realised that my constant unquenchable hunger for beauty and the moments when beauty grabs me by the throat is meaning for me. It happens constantly and the more I feed it the richer it gets.It’s more than aesthetic wonder. In my strongly religious past it all began as an idea around the possibility of knowing god. And now I realise that knowing god in the broadest sense is intuitive experience. This can become a drug of choice where justice and kindness and love and humility are sacrificed on the altar of one better experience after the other. Some religions are very good at doing the rounds of one narcissistic “experience” after another even if they are never sure of those experiences, so committed are they to behaviour and holiness and moral hurdles. I choose to live out these non negotiable values that make for a better world and I do painfully every day with regular moments of failure. But so too is my determined commitment of exposure to the sources of beauty, as in the music that I am listening to now [Arovo Part’s “Spiegel im Spiegel”] and making life the following of the road “less travelled” to find and experience the almost indescribable beauty and intuitive knowing. Developing awareness as the essential sixth sense for life opens me to seeing new things all the time. Seeing through ears, eyes, nose, mouth, body, touch, imagination. The fundamentalist world is afraid of all this and attaches large burdens of guilt to the pursuit of beauty and its intuitive knowing.I know. I used to attach guilt to it. “You shall know [experience intuitively] and the knowing shall set you free.”
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